Ugly Christmas Sweater Office Party Ideas That Will Land You on HR’s Naughty List
Office parties are a minefield in the best of times. Over drinking, bad manners, sexy cleavage, jokes gone wrong are just some of the things that can make you start to think about updating your resume. You company’s ugly Christmas sweater office party has even more opportunities for trouble. So don’t go with an ugly Christmas sweater idea that will land you in hot cocoa.
Office “Christmas” parties are extra fraught. To keep you out of trouble we wrote a guide for The Best Ugly Christmas Sweater ideas for work. Here are 10 ugly Christmas sweater ideas that may seem like a good idea at the time, but are sure to make you regret your life choices the next day.
If you have an event and really want to be edgy then check out our guide to Naughty Ugly Christmas Sweater Ideas.
Come to Jesus!
This is funny. Baby Jesus in a Baby Bjorn carrier may be comedy gold but it is the fastest way to find our that Bill from Accounting is born again.
There are lots of good choices of Jesus-themed sweaters out there. These are also great for annoying your super religious family member. Most focus on baby Jesus or birthday boy Jesus.
Buy this one for sure but just save it for you friend’s ugly Christmas party. At the office, count your drinks and keep Christmas secular.
Show Your Naughty Side (and abs)
Hey bruh…ugly Christmas sweater office party isn’t like an adult Halloween party at your bro’s condo. Send sexy back and leave the skin, real or illustrated under your clothes.
Besides, having your drunken boss ogling you after a couple of eggnogs will be even more uncomfortable for you and won’t keep you out of the HR office.
Oh Cupid! Boning Blitzen and Doing Donner
Look, we love this one. From a distance it looks like a traditional Christmas sweater and seems pretty tame. But up close it is filled with reindeer lovin.
Sure, it’s natural and baby reindeer aren’t delivered by storks. But, just skip this one for your ugly Christmas sweater office party and save it for your neighbor’s house party instead.
Fun Fact: reindeer are one of the few types of deer where the cows (yes that is what they are called) grow antlers. So you can pull this bit of trivia out at your party or play dumb.
Everybody Poops – Even Santa
Honestly, it is funny. But, nobody wants to think about what all that milk and cookies does to Santa’s tum-tum.
There are actually tons of options based on this theme so if you like it for some other event then there are more options here.
This one may work at the right kind of business. But if there has been a necktie in your office in the last 12 months then leave the bathroom humor at home.
7 Words You Can’t Say On Christmas Sweaters
George Carlin famously said there are 7 words you can’t say on TV. I don’t know how many you shouldn’t have on your clothes at an ugly Christmas sweater office party but let’s all agree this is one of them.
In general don’t wear anything that has words you wouldn’t say freely around the office and to your boss or to your bosses boss. This ugly Christmas sweater idea will get your career censored.
Why does Santa say “Ho, Ho, Ho?” Because he can’t remember your mom’s name.
OK, so it isn’t just Santa’s cheeks that are rosy red. We can live with that. He works hard and deserves some fun.
But people don’t want to be thinking of the size of Jolly Saint Nick’s package while they scarf down pigs in a blanket in the break room.
So skip any sweaters reference Santa’s endowments at the 2019 ugly Christmas sweater office party.
Deez Nuts – Nobody is Nostalgic for 2016
Just skip this one all together. Nostalgia can be funny and so can a cheesy joke from long ago. But tired old jokes need to rest on the ash heap of internet history long enough to risk bringing it back.
This ugly Christmas sweater is bad…it says that either your just discovering this meme now, or you just turned 13.
If you want a dirty ugly Christmas sweater for a party or a bar crawl then there are better, more current choices.
Make Christmas Great Again – Trumpy Tacky
This one is fine if you work in the kind of office where everyone votes the same. Maybe a Trump ugly Christmas sweater is funny to you. But skip the politics if your office is even a little purple.
Besides, do you really want to ruin a perfectly good eggnog buzz talking about the impeachment hearings with your boss?
Impeachment ugly Christmas sweaters are going to be big sellers this year. So, if you have a non-work event there are tons of great Trump and Impeachment themed ugly Christmas sweaters in 2019.
Couples Ugly Christmas Sweaters
OK so you are dating someone at work. Best of luck with that. Even if the whole office knows about it you don’t have to shove it in their face.
If you are looking for great couple’s sweaters there are lots of choices. And most of them are not the two-person monster we show here.
If you liked these examples and want even more naughty fun then read our guide to Naughty Ugly Christmas Sweater Ideas. If you want more ideas of what you can wear to the office then consider some movie and pop culture choices. The Big Lebowski sweater is a favorite. But you can flex your nerd strength with a Star Wars Sweater or Rick and Morty Christmas Sweater too.