You decided that you don’t just want to attend a party, you want to win an ugly Christmas sweater contest. Many of those parties will have contests. The best ones rely on popular voting by the crowd. This is your opportunity to rig the vote. Here are the strategies to do it. Glory awaits!
Act Super Confident
Act confident and you will be confident. Winning an ugly Christmas Sweater Contest is a lot like singing karaoke. It is ok to look like an idiot as long as you own it. A badly sung karaoke song sucks worse when the person looks uncomfortable and sings quietly. Karaoke kings and queens go all in, sing loudly like they are in front of 60,000 people.
So, remember the goal of the ugly Christmas Sweater contest is to look ridiculous. So, strut around like you are the coolest person there. The point is to stand out so dump a little extra whiskey in your eggnog and OWN IT. Confidence wins over the crowd every time.
Chose a Sweater That Stands Out
Remember there is no “I” in “ugly sweater” but there is a “you.” What does that mean? Exactly! Remember, that everyone competing will be wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. So, don’t go for just traditional vintage style tacky. Don’t wear a sweater you have worn anywhere else before. Stand out from the crowd and have the guts to go all in. Here are the types of ugly Christmas sweaters you can do to take the prize.
Kick Them in the Naughty List
As long as it is an adult party and not a professional gathering then go super inappropriate. Unless you hate your family then don’t be that guy that shows up to a family gathering and having little kids staring at one of these. We have made lists of naughty Christmas sweaters that will make it rain contest votes.
Some of our favorite choices here are Santa doing nasty stuff. He may be talking about his “package,” bragging about how good your mom has been or relieving himself on your yard or down your chimney.
Reindeer on reindeer loving is also a great choice. Hey, where do people think baby reindeer come from? Elves enjoy a North Pole dance is a winner too.
Have Putin Rig the Vote
Trump Ugly Christmas Sweaters are hot this year. Impeachment sweaters are the ultimate choice of Trump sweaters. Everyone is already talking impeachment so lean into it with a Trump Impeachment Sweater. If it’s an all blue crowd, then expect nods and some votes.
Make sure you have enough Trump haters to get you the votes. Tell the crowd a vote for you is a vote for impeachment. If it’s a Republican or mixed group, then maybe you get some arguments and don’t Win an ugly Christmas Sweater Contest. Either way it’s an epic night.
Politics is only half the topics you don’t bring up in polite company. So, go all in on religion too. There are tons of great Jesus Ugly Christmas sweaters. Wish the big guy a happy birthday or put him in a baby Bjorn carrier.
Skip the Sweater
Dressing in Pink Nightmare pajamas from A Christmas Story will draw maximum attention. Literally everyone recognizes this, and you won’t look like anyone else. Don’t tell ANYONE you bought this. Just show up in it. Make an appearance about half an hour late for maximum theatrics. Like Ralphie’s big reveal at the top of the steps, let them know that Aunt Clara thought of you too.
Sure, the party trolls will point out it is a sweater party. Tell them to fudge. Anything is an ugly Christmas sweater if you believe in yourself enough.
Be THAT couple
Every hates super sweet PDA couples. So BE that time 1000. We’ve done a whole series of articles on how to do couple’s ugly Christmas Sweaters right. You can buy matching sweaters, coordinate his and hers (or his and his or hers and hers or whatever), or dive in and go for epically horrible and totally impractical the two-person sweaters.
Remember what we said about karaoke. Ugly Christmas sweaters are all about being self-aware so lean in and show how uninhibited you can be.
Reference Pop Culture
OK what do Star Wars, Ghostbusters and Rick and Morty have to do with Christmas? Nothing as far as we know (epically tragic Star Wars Holiday Special aside). But everyone knows and loves these characters and that can be a crowd pleaser and a vote getter.
Tap into Nostalgia
Nostalgia makes people feel good and they remember the good times. So, choosing a classic holiday movie with a Christmas Vacation sweater can be a winner.
This one works great at some parties and bombs at others. But if you are looking extra hot maybe you don’t really care. If you lose the party, you can at least be queen (or king) of Instagram. Sexy really works well to stand out from a crowd. This sexy Mrs. Clause costume works great at Santa crawls where everyone is dressed similarly. You don’t need to be a size 2 either. There are sexy looks for people of all sizes.
Go hyper tacky with 3D Sweaters
One way to win an ugly Christmas Sweater Contest is to go as ugly as possible. This means over the top tacky, gaudy and hideous. Sweaters with Christmas tree decorations or toys or fidget spinners work really well here. Garland, Christmas balls and tinsel stand out in a sea of polyester and acrylic knits.
Now go win that Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest
These are out strategies to win an ugly Christmas Sweater Contest. We have tips if you want to host an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. Order early to make sure you get what you want and to make sure everything fits and gets delivered. Remember that you are epic, and you are awesome. So, go have fun and remember to practice your touchdown celebration dance to show you are the sore winner the event deserves.